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Friday, August 20, 2010

What are you willing to sacrifice for your dreams?

I recently had a very enlightening conversation with one of my friends who informed me that I was spending too much time pursuing my dream of being a writer and sacrificing more enjoyable things in life…like spending time with her. It was an interesting conversation that left me not only confused and slightly angry but also intrigued…was I sacrificing too much? Had I abandoned my friends in favor of my dream?

I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s all a matter of perspective. My perspective is that I don’t sacrifice too much time to my writing. I make plans with friends and spend time with family; I always put aside my writing for my daughter if she needs me. Yes, I set aside certain times of the day for writing but most of it is after she is asleep and my husband is working. I would never say to her, no we can’t go to the park because mommy has to write. I make time to get the words down and I thought I was doing a good job balancing things.

The conversation with my friend opened my eyes to a few things. One, not everyone is supportive of my pursuit…not if they perceive that it costs them something. Two, I may be more of a hermit then I thought I was. Three, that doesn’t bother me.

I’m content with the way my life is going right now and will not abandon my dream simply because I’m not spending all of my nights and weekends socializing. I have a list of objectives when it comes to my time: family, work, writing, friends, which I balance accordingly.

What about you? Do you have to make sacrifices to get things done? Do you have a dream that requires you give up other things? Do people you know give you a hard time about it?


  1. That blog touched me because it made me wonder if I too spend so much time on writing pursuits that I'm missing out on other things. I've thought about it from time to time and although my family is supportive, it's me that feels guilty. But should I? I do everything I have to do, and this is my thing, just like they all have their goals, dreams, jobs to pursue. So, I guess when it comes to the bottom line-I'm here for my family whenever they need me, but I don't think I should have to sacrifice my dreams for anyone. I wouldn't expect anyone to do that for me. But, I do think I need to balance my time a little better, but that's something I'm working on.
    Great blog today Angela-it made me ponder my own life a little more. :)

  2. Thanks Patricia - it had me pondering for a while too!

  3. Hey Angela,
    OK, so you spend too much time trying to get your dream? Is there such a thing, after all what could you do with your time instead of writing?

    Option One:
    Spend time in the pub and watch drunken idiots start fights, spending money that you really prefer to keep, getting splashed with beer and possibly getting hit in the process.

    Option Two:
    Going out for something to eat, hence putting on weight and feeling bad so you have to pay to diet.

    Now lets look at this another way. What does the writing do you for you?

    1) It helps you to relax.
    2) You have a hobby that doesn't cost the earth that you get pleasure from.
    3) When you get a letter and some of your stuff published is there a better feeling?

    I know which I think I'd rather spend my time doing. OK, so I'm not a party animal but I do like my time snuggled into my duvet, with a beverage of choice and some snacks. Yeah I might not be a social butterfly but I think I spend my time in a way that makes me feel happy. So sue me if you can't see why I prefer to spend my time that way.

  4. Yes! My point exactly! For some reason people think writer's devote too much time to their dreams...what person who is serious about successs doesn't make sacrifices along the way?

  5. I ran into a quote the other day that seems related: Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

    It's never a sacrifice to pursue your dream. You might sleep less, drink less, and maybe shop less but you gain so much more. Its an outlet for your emotions, a relaxing past time, and the opportunity to get your voice into the world and be heard. Friends who know and love you would understand this and support it. Does writing take time? Absolutely...you just get more creative with time managament and make every moment count. Keep pushing for the dream.

  6. That's a great quote! I'm going to borrow it next time someone complains to me! All of my friends expect this particular one are very supportive.

  7. The people I mainly get grief from about my writing are my (extended) family members. It's okay to read a book, or watch TV, or play cards, or (if you're a kid) play video games, but it's apparently a problem if you are writing a book while with the group. This wouldn't bug me so much if we didn't spend so much time together LOL.

    Overall I put family first, but if the family is just being negative, they get shoved to second. My little group of four here gets plenty of time with me :)

  8. Yes, tv and video games seem to be totally acceptable!

  9. Could have written the post myself. I've had the same experiences, the same reactions from others, and the same responses.

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