Okay, okay, so I'm not talking about all the freakin' romance that I read, or the copious amounts of chocolate that I ingest...I'm talking about the guilty pleasures that could be considered a personality flaw.
I have this problem...I love...and I mean love...all forms of confrontation...I get so excited when I know a fight (verbal usually) is about to happen. So much so that my heart pumps harder and I get so giddy...even better when I'm the one doing the confronting or when someone works up the nerve to confront me. A good friend told me the other day that I get this look in my eyes that scares the poop right out of her.
It works for me at my job...which I'm still not going to tell you about (pen name and all) - I've been told that I can be intimidating...which is very effective in managing all kinds of people. It's a descriptor that I've been labelled with from the time that I was a teen (although then I think it had more to do with wearing all black and sporting many tattoos= goth to the extreme).
The funny thing is that I don't get angry...just excited...and I don't lash out at people, ever, I'm not an attacker...I just don't like to see injustice done and will fight for the underdog (or encourage them to do it for themselves). I also don't like incompetence and would rather a job done right, with dignity and honor. I expect people to be honest with me too and call me on stuff when I need to be checked.
But if you attack me...well, I come out swinging...and if it's bad enough...I will go for the throat.
Now, when I was talking to a colleague this week about it, she told me that it's not that I'm scary or mean (because I'm not) it's that I'm honest with people and don't usually sugar-coat problems. I call it as I see it. I don't like bs - be straight with me, no matter what it is you have to say. How else can I change or grow as a person if I don't know what the problems are?
So does this make me a bad person? If so, does it mean my friends and I are all bad people? (I tend to surround myself with like-minded folks) What's the general consensus....do you prefer the truth or would you rather be told everything is fine when it's not?
I'll take a double-scoop of the truth, please. I don't trust BS'rs. That's one thing about honest friends - you always know where you stand.
ReplyDeleteI like the truth. I admire honesty. If people have the ability to call it like they see it AND have an entourage of friends around them, then they're doing something right!
ReplyDeleteOf course, this post has my curiosty peaked, tatts, goth and in charge? Hmm...what is it that you do Ms. Addams! LOL!
Thank for sharing!
:) Lisa
I know what you mean, in highschool all the girls wanted to fight me to prove something, none of them did, they'd all back down, and I simply can't imagine EVER hitting anyone out of anger. I used to think it quite funny, i'm not tall by anymeans and they were, but some people just have that 'thing' going for them. I call mine 'the inner wolf' lol! We're nice as pie till you tick us off. I'd take brutal honesty over butt kissing anyday. BRING IT. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd yet, something else we have in common!! I used to make kids cry in school because they'd ask my opinion and I GAVE it to them. Not mean, just honest.
ReplyDeleteI expect the same from my friends, too - I hate sugar-coaters, they feel hypocritical to me:(
LOL Lisa, tattoos are all hidden and I don't wear much black these days...well, not ALL black anyway.
ReplyDeleteTo my colleagues I am very normal...depressingly so. What I wouldn't give to walk around in a tank top and short some days though...shock the poo right out of the lot of them...lol
Lol I am exactly the same! It definitely doesn't come from aggression, I think maybe it's knowing you can put your vocabulary to use and give a good verbal bitch slap.
ReplyDeleteIf it was a more personal attack then yeah, I'm the same there and will go for the throat. But confrontation in general - disagreements or debates that get heated - I find them exhilarating!
I've worked as a receptionist in the past, for a long time, and there were certain awkward clients I used to wish would come in some days just so they would start a confrontation lol!
Ditto with not sugar coating things too. How much better would things be if people didn't take offence at truths just because they're used to people pandering to them?
Truth all the way with me!
Thanks for your honest post. This is personal post, and so difficult to respond to without being personal... but you say you are OK with confrontation, so I guess I have nothing to be afraid of, right? :-)
ReplyDeleteThere's two threads, and two questions here. Do I value truth, and honesty. Always. Do I always say something? No, although I hope I speak up when I should. Maybe I'm just very British; we call it tact, and I value that.
The second question is, do I value confrontation? That depends entirely on the contest/context. I have a sense of humour that can get me into trouble (as you know :-D). I lean toward teasing/banter sometimes, and although I try to go only where I think the other person is comfortable, I don't always get it right, and apologies follow.
Angry, in your face confrontation? No. People get hurt, often unnecessarily. No one listens anyway, so the whole thing turns into a great time-waster.
Where confrontation is needed, I start gentle, and work up to head-on agro. I try to match the force used to the resistance encountered. Kinder that way, but still not a wimp-out. The confrontation for me is what you have to go through to get to where I want to be, which is at the resolution.
Ah tact, sometimes I lack that...but not often. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all is a good motto that I try to remember.
ReplyDeleteI'm one of those people who I don't know if its a good thing or not, has a face that usually looks like I'm about to launch someone through a window.
ReplyDeleteI've been called scary, I've been called frightening and whilst I'm not I don't do anything to persuade people otherwise.
Why? I want them to get to know me for me, if they can take the time, be honest with me and not try to get something out of it other than a friend, then its worth my time investing.
I hate people who flannel, talk out of their proverbial backsides and I absolutely refuse to play politics with people. I don't like that style of play, I don't like the people who are usually attracted to that way of thinking and my philosophy on it is simple, if I wouldn't have a pint with that person in a pub, why the hell should I vote for them.
Stick to your guns, its the best way to be.
Now THAT I really enjoyed A LOT! It sounds like something I'd say, not necessarily blog about but it hit home. I too love confrontation, especially calling people on their bs! Its exhilarating. I love honesty, hate liars and would rather have the truth anyday. That's part of my problem...I always say what's on my mind, whether you want to hear it or not...and I never have regrets over it. I'd rather be honest and forthright then bs someone, and I like people who do the same for me. Tell me the truth, I can handle that. How do you deal with a lie? I don't deal with them really well and don't want to hear them.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this Angie. Loved it! ;)